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Growing up, I had no concept of God.
I had heard of Him, but thought He was a superstition or something people made up, like Santa Claus or the tooth fairy – once you knew better, you stopped believing. My parents are medical people, scientists, who believe only in what they can see, the rational tangible world around them. From their perspective, there is no afterlife and no God who lives among us, helping and guiding. Nevertheless, I had a very happy childhood with abundant love and stability. I didn’t feel a need, so didn’t question my parents’ philosophy.
When I was 16 years old, my parents separated, and my entire world was pulled out from under me. I was confused, sad and angry. I was angry with my parents, but above all I was angry with myself for not predicting their situation earlier.
At first, I got caught up in my high school’s social scene. I went to a lot of parties, got drunk and thought a lot about doing drugs. I felt normal spending time with kids like me who wanted to escape the difficult or the mundane. But I wasn’t happy.
Fortunately, God was already working in my life. He placed a group of friends around me who invited me to their church youth group and showed they really cared about me. They told me about a God who is always there to lean on, never changing or fading away like the tooth fairy or Santa.
One night, when I was alone in my bedroom, I was overwhelmed with a feeling of need. I longed for unending friendship and acceptance and for life to have meaning. As I sat and cried with my face to the wall, the words of my friends came to mind. I longed for the assurance they felt, for their source of hope and joy.
That night, I made a deal with God. I prayed for the first time and asked Him to show Himself to me if He really existed. Almost immediately, I felt a loving, assuring presence, as though He had been there all along, simply waiting for me to acknowledge Him. My sense of hopelessness faded, and I felt found. To keep my side of the deal, I began reading God’s message to human beings, the Bible, and kept asking my friends hard questions. After a few short months, a friend and I prayed together for God to take up permanent residence in my heart. Since then, I’ve learned about the amazing things God can do when He’s given free reign in a life.
Since my first encounter with God seven years ago, my faith has continued to grow. After high school, I got involved with the InterVarsity Christian Fellowship group at the University of Victoria. This is where I met my husband. Today, I am still learning a lot from the young people I work with in the youth group at my church.
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Megan Stobbe attends Saanich (B.C.) Community Church. This article is reprinted, with permission, form the March 2, 2002 issue of Sunday Magazine. |
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